Sometimes I Do Not Believe You

Something happened to me recently that completely floored me. It's not often when I am left speechless but this left me stuttering and gaping my mouth like a fish out of water. 

I was networking at an event just chatting away and answering question for people. It was mostly the same questions over and over so I was getting my speech pretty down pat. A woman walked up to me, started to ask her question, stopped herself, and then said "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry but you are just stunning. Your hair, your coloring and what an amazing smile. You just stopped me in my tracks. Sorry if that's weird I just feel like I had to tell you". 

Satellite Beach, FL

Yup, I was left speechless. This perfect stranger just gave me the most amazing compliment and all I could do was stammer out a "Wow, thanks, uhhhhhhhh" and then thankfully my brain kickstarted itself back into gear and I attempted to continue to have a conversation with her. After we chatted and I answered her questions, I thanked her again and she walked away.

 I really doubt this woman remembers this moment all that clearly but here I am still thinking about it and in wonderment of how kind she was. It's also made me think more about her unsolicited compliment and how I reacted. 

 At first, I was in shock (What, me? Not the person behind me? Are you sure?) and then it turned into unease (Is she pulling my leg? What if she is making fun of me?) and then I came up with answers to explain her compliment (Maybe it’s because of the shirt color I was wearing. Maybe it was the lighting. Maybe she wasn’t wearing her glasses and I was a multihued but happy blur). Yup, I am a pro at second guessing myself.

Satellite Beach, Florida

How many of you suck at taking compliments? Your immediate reaction is to downplay what someone said or even not believe them at all. I once heard when you don't believe someone's compliment you are essentially calling them a liar and that really stuck with me. There are people in your life who tell you wonderful things about yourself and you don’t believe them. Are they liars? No? Then maybe it's time to start listening to (and believing) what they say. Don’t worry though, I say this knowing I am in the Doubting Thomas of Compliments Club.

 I also tend to behave poorly when people highly compliment my photography. I will say oh that one was popular because everyone loves the beach or people love that because it’s got bright fun colors. I know I am being a dummy because people wouldn’t say nice things if they didn’t mean it. Unfortunately, it is a terrible habit of mine to not believe the positively awesome comments given to me.

My theory is that many other folks (myself included) have a tendency to not believe they are the ultimate at something unless there’s arbitrary data to prove it. For instance, people think they aren’t truly beautiful unless they’re famous or a model. They aren’t talented artists unless they have a bajillion social media followers. They aren’t funny unless they are getting paid gigs as a comic. They aren’t skinny unless they fit into size 00.

Satellite Beach, FL

So why don’t we trust other people’s eyeballs and hearts when they take the time to say wonderfully kind things about us? Why do we believe these arbitrary numbers and data as being proof of our fantasticalness? I am honestly not sure since I know I perpetuate this problem so here’s my own small answer that will help make me feel better about it, a letter to that kind woman:

Dear Wonderful Lady,

I wish my brain had worked properly that day you took the time to say the nicest thing to me. If so, I would have said a proper and genuine thank you. I also would have tried to ask you more questions about yourself and get to know you better (I can’t even recall your name. It flew out of my mind in shock and awe) rather than moving on to another subject in my discomfort of being complimented. I know I can’t change that day but I do hope you continue to say what you really feel and let the beautiful positive words flow out of you. You are being the change I wish to see in the world and I want to adopt your method as a role model for me. I also endeavor to believe the people in my life when they tell me I’m awesome, wonderful, talented, and amazing. It may take some time and effort but I will work on it. Many heartfelt and genuine thanks.

5 Ways To Spot An American Abroad | London Photography

Word on the street is, American travelers aren't very good at blending in. It pains me to hear this because I think I am QUITE the awesome traveler but many international folks disagree and feel we Americans can be quite noticeable and have some easily recognizable traits. When I studied abroad in London, I was quickly initiated into how different things were going to be as "the American abroad" when the customs agent looked at my passport, looked at me, and then said "American, eh? What do you think of that twat* you call a President?" (*referring to George W. Bush). I was a bit hungover after having spent the last week in Belgium enjoying their chocolate and beer and celebrating my first World Cup Finals while in Europe (I ingested more beer than chocolate, if I am going to be honest) and in my surprise I just stammered back "Uh, I didn't vote in that election", blushed red from my roots to toes, and scurried away to try and find the rest of my group.

Throughout my travels and conversations with the locals, the topic of Americans traveling seems to be a common one people enjoy. They are truly curious and just want to know, "What's up with Americans and why do they do ________ (fill in the blank here)". We seem to be quite the curious species of traveler. So, why is that? What exactly is on this list of things that make us immediately recognizable when leaving the good ol' U.S. of A? Here's my (definitely not conclusive nor entirely reliable) list based on super non-scientific surveying methods done while traveling (and possibly drinking).

First off, it's our puffy white sneakers. Yup, you read that read. We are immediately recognizable because we wear these puffy sneakers (you know, those sensible ones you put on because you know you are going to be walking all day and don't want your feet to hurt? Yeah, those). The sneakers that are so popular in the U.S. are just not that popular elsewhere. Instead, locals overseas tend to wear the slim, dark, soccer-inspired trainers/runners (the different nickname depends on where you are). When we go tromping around in our giant sneakers, the neon sign screaming "American, right here!" points directly at our feet.

Next, it's our teeth. I will never forget being in a pub in Ireland and, before saying a word, the bartender says "You're an American, aren't you? I can tell by that big white smile of yours!" I asked some other folks our group was chatting with and they agreed they believe all Americans have amazing teeth and big white smiles. They had so many questions to ask those of us who had worn braces, why we spent so much money on our teeth, and if we thought it was worth it. I had grown up being told what a nice smile I had and, for the first time, I was weirdly aware of my teeth in an opposite way than before. Now, don't get me wrong. Everyone was super nice and really loved our big toothy "model teeth" but just pointed out it's an immediate sign you're usually American.

Gentleman, another indicator you're an American are your baseball hats. I don't personally wear hats but this was top on the list of things people say tell them immediately it's an American coming down the street. Baseball hats are hugely popular here in the U.S. but not really elsewhere. It was really funny how fascinated the group of guys were asking our fellow American male students why those "duck bill hats" are so popular in the States.

Ladies (and I LOVE this), many of the locals said they know we are American because we are so NICE. WHAT?!? Yes, they said we are super approachable, willing to chat, always smiling (with those amazing teeth), and are super enjoyable to be around. You know what that means? If you are single and traveling abroad, make sure you head to the local pubs and get your chat on because the gents overseas will just eat that right up. 

Sadly, there is also a negative trait that makes people realize we are American very quickly and it is our tendency to CONSTANTLY compare how we do things in America versus where we are visiting and feel the need to remind everyone around us of this. We sometimes (hold your breath) even feel the need to explain to the locals why Americans do it better. Why? Why would we do this?

Maybe we do it because of nerves or an attempt to find a way to feel a little less off kilter in all the changes but whatever the reasons, it's very noticeable. Knock it off. Seriously. Imagine your Aunt Tilda coming to visit your house and rather than telling you what a nice home you have, she starts to point out how she would have done the curtains differently and picked a different shade for the walls (and don't get her started on your choice for wall art). You'd probably want to escort Aunt Tilda right back to the driveway while muttering unpleasant words about her inside your head, right? It's the same thing when you travel. Just chillax. Enjoy the different. That's the whole point to traveling - to get outside your comfort zone.

So my fellow Americans, I hope this list is something you will think of next time you travel so you, too, can be an expert American traveler who blends into your amazing international surroundings like a ninja with a passport.

If it doesn't work - don't blame me. Blame the beer I drank while getting this "scientific" data.

Some People Call Me Foreign Kid | Getting To Know Me Series

I am a big believer that our life's stories shape how we view the world and especially how we create art. I realize although many of you appreciate my photography and enjoy reading my stories, you may not really know all that much about me. Today is my first post in a series I’ll be doing in the hopes of giving you a chance to “see behind the curtain”. Along with these fun facts, I have decided to share some of my favorite photos I have taken so far in this photography adventure.

I spent the majority of my childhood until I was 9 years old living in the Middle East. We lived in Turkey and then Saudi Arabia and by being there I missed the 80’s (as I jokingly say). When I came to the United States, New Kids on the Block and L.A. Gear were all the rage, I had only seen a Nintendo once before, and I had no idea what MTV was (let alone a Bon Jovi or Def Leppard). Immediately upon my arrival in my class the girl I sat next to grabbed me, shoved a Teen Bop magazine photo of New Kids On The Block at me, and pointed at Danny telling me “we all picked our boyfriends and he can be yours”. I just wanted to fit in, despite my weird clothes and moving from a country none of the kids in my class had heard of, so I just nodded my head and said “Uh, sure, ok” and let them sweep me up into their play world of dating boy band celebrities I had never heard of (by the way – I figured out quickly the girls had given me the leftover member of the band, the one they didn’t think was cute. So generous). It helped to have this group of "friends" during this transition where kids would say "You lived in Turkey? Like INSIDE a Turkey? I bet that smelled AWFUL (yuck yuck yuck)". Smart kids, I tell ya. 

I pretty much spent the next 15 years of my life having people reference phrases, movies, and pop culture I had never heard of and then getting the wide eyed look when they would incredulously say “You’ve never seen THE BREAKFAST CLUB?!?!?!?” in a tone only dogs could hear and then they would take me by the hand to educate me on whatever essential U.S. pop culture I had missed out on.

Living overseas for my childhood is something I cherish every single day. I wear it like a badge of honor and embrace how it altered my perception of the world around me. I saw a mixture of cultures so very different than what I now knew as home (Florida) and, as a result, it made me constantly question the WHY of doing things. I push hard at the answer of “we’ve always done it this way” because I have personally experienced how others do things and know there can always be a better system to get stuff accomplished.

It also put me slightly on the fringe of my peers which, instead of hiding it away and trying to make myself blend as much as possible (like most teens), I embraced it fully and actually made it part of the package deal of my friendship. Oh, you want to be friends with me? Be forewarned I can sometimes be a bit of a foreign kid, local news doesn’t interest me but international news does, sometimes I have no idea what movie/phrase/pop culture you are joking about, and I will tell stories of things I experienced as a kid which you will think is SO WEIRD (Oh, it’s NOT normal to see camels riding in the beds of trucks down the street? You don’t sit around a platter using pieces of bread as silverware? There’s more than 2 TV channels here and they are ALL in English???? My mind = blown). You’re good with that? Cool – let’s do this.

I credit this altered perception of the world for influencing my photography as well. I feel like experiencing something so distinctive automatically gave me permission to just push my boundaries and not fear the possible negative feedback saying it’s too much or too different. I’ve SEEN different. I’ve lived in a world completely unlike where I am today – and I loved it. I know I am incredibly lucky. I realize not everyone has this freedom automatically ingrained in them and I wish they did. I feel like it’s for the better when we push back. Push the envelope, live on the fringe, think differently – because absolutely beautiful things come from behaving differently and embracing being the weirdo.

I like to think I am a good example of that.

P.S. It is definitely a small world. In high school I figured out the girl in my math class also went to the same school as I did in Saudi Arabia, at the same time, and I found her in my yearbook. Also, I am currently friends with someone who lives near me here in Florida that ALSO went to the same school in Saudi Arabia, although we were several years apart. In this tiny Florida town, twice I have found people who had similar adventures to mine. 

Am I Too Old For Magic | Walt Disney World Photography

I absolutely adore reading. I have always been an avid reader and didn't let the "required reading" of school/college even try to beat that out of me but I also have learned when I get sucked into a book everything else in my world disappears. That can be both a good and a bad thing - I am engrossed in other worlds I could never imagine on my own but that also means my real life can get ignored. This isn't so bad if you can do it in healthy doses but healthy doses of reading is not something I am prone to do (so far this year, I've read 16 books. My goal for 2015 was 30.....).

It does mean I sometimes have to say to myself "you can read for 20 minutes AFTER you take care of X, Y, Z adult/boring life requirement" and the bargaining (typically) works. It's just like what my parents would have to do with me as a kid.  BTW - My mom once learned to be super specific in bargaining with me. She once said "No TV in the morning until you are dressed with your shoes on". The next morning she came out to me watching TV, in my pajamas, with my shoes on, and no socks. But I had my shoes on like she said!

I think it's healthy for adults to keep their childlike wonder and imagination. I absolutely admit I am the first to line up to see the movies with fantasy, superheroes, and magic (yup, I have almost every Disney animated movie, the extended edition Lord of the Rings trilogy, all the Marvel Avengers movies, and all of the Harry Potter movies as well and that's just the tip of the nerd-collection-iceberg).

I also love living near the theme parks and have been an avid lifelong Disney fan with annual passes and also recently added Universal Studios to my favorites list. I run inside just as fast as the kids and giggle and scream like I was 10 years old (to the embarrassment of those with me - I know they love me and tolerate my idiocy with some deep sighs and probably a little side eye too).

Books spark the flame of magic and then movies and theme parks take those amazing worlds even further by actualizing them into what you always imagined. I find it all to be perfectly complimentary, honestly.

As I was home sick for a week with a cold, I needed comfort and I reached out immediately to my favorite books and movies which I realized were all intended for young adults and kids. I wondered - is this lame? Am I seriously in denial of trying to be an adult and instead disappearing into these alternate worlds where I can fly, do magic, and even battle evil with superpower skills I could never have in real life?

My answer - a resounding hell to the yes. Why? Because it's awesome. Do I really need to explain myself? Nope. Am I too old for this magic and wonderment? Some might say yes but those are also people who are lame or unwilling to admit it's UBER FUN to be get sucked into these alternate worlds.

I know I am not alone in this.

Now, if you'll excuse me I am going to get back to my book I promised myself I could keep reading when I finished this post.........